so like i’m stuck now at another law assignment. each time i get to an assignment and i do crap for it, i tell myself “hey, just start earlier next time” and once again i’m only starting 2.5 weeks before (well i reckon you can call that ‘earlier’ because i typically start 2 weeks before)

4 years ago, i was doing trinity and everyday when i walk to sch i’d just look up along swanston st and there stood the law building and i kept praying in my heart that i could get in. come the final exams, i was calculating my scores for each subject before i took the paper and i resolved that i would never make it in no matter how well i did for my finals but i did. i still rmb i was in china that holiday when the results came out and i asked e to msg my results and i couldn’t sleep that whole night, grabbing tightly to the hp thinking the msg could come in at anytime! and the msg did but didn’t believe i managed to do well enough to get into law sch. i remember while travelling between different bits of china, i subsequently begged my parents to let me go pay for hotel internet just to double-check and thriple-check my results. but well the deal i made with God was that should He let me in, i would do  my utmost when i was in but i never kept to that promise

i guess in many ways i got disenchanted with law school, the people aren’t all that warm and friendly, i never quite got the uni experience i thought i was in for. all these distractions came like ocf and work that made it harder for me to concentrate on my studies and i dare say, God’s grace hasn’t left me in these past 3 years. for 2 subjects i’ve gotten 50% on the dot but still ‘afloat’, though i’ve got an average score that would make me absolutely unemployable the thought of job search now scares me and albeit my promise, i haven’t even worked that hard at keeping it.

but now i think i have to stop taking God’s grace for granted. i’m gonna work at all my law subjects and do my best while taking things in from His perspective- like i’ve now got a property law assignment to do and at first i was resenting the fact that it’s about native title and should i be studying in singapore, i wouldn’t have to do this kind of thing but no, i will CHOOSE to see things in line with His love, that these indigenous people have been denied access and rights to their land, land that some English dude decided to be oblivious to their presence and just take over.

i MUST love, because He does